Leg 1 of my adventure began at 7:30am, when I woke up and stumbled into some clothes and hurriedly makeup-ed my face. My roommate and I were on an adventure! Doggedly and unattractively, we dragged our luggage, laundry, and large backpacks down 2 flights of stairs, outside through the slushy snow, then down yet another monumentally long flight of stairs...through even slushier snow. Anyone overhearing would have thought an animal was dying while falling down the stairs for all the grunting and heaving we were doing.
I used brute force to crack the ice off my trunk, open it, and thrust my giant red suitcase inside. Then came the 20 minute ordeal, a true test of East Coasthood, of scraping 7 inches of snow and ice off my windshield WITHOUT gloves. And I nailed it!
Then, we were off! The open road before us, and school and all it's challenges behind. We're jammin to my specially made roadtrip home mix when, an hour into it, we realize something.
We. Need. Coffee.
I pulled off the highway because the sign promised me Starbucks. I was craving a nice soy caramel latte with an extra shot and my roommate (strictly a tea person) was desperate enough to want coffee as well. The need was immediate and very very pressing. So we drove and hunted but no Starbucks was found, much to our frustration. In our frenzied search, I drove too far down the road and had to then attempt to turn around. Every light, of course, said no u-turns, so I had to get creative.
On a serious caffeine low and somewhat panicked, I turned the wrong way down a one way street in my attempt to turn around. Because of the snow, my non-snow tires skidded, bringing me off the road and within an inch of a stop sign!
Recovering from this and shouting my apologies to oncoming cars, we meandered into the drive-thru of a McDonalds and I settled for a caramel mocha and a burrito. In my famished state, it did the job just fine.
So we drive and drive and drive.I dropped off my roommate, grabbed my golden ticket (aka my detailed set of directions) and started out for my first long drive all by my lonesome. It was thrilling! I sang very loudly to my music and finished my roommate's coffee that she (thankfully) left in the car.
I finally safely arrived at my friend's place, where I met his puppy who peed uncontrollably the entire 10 minutes I was in the house. Since I didn't want to traumatize the little thing too much, we left, and I was on Leg 2 of my journey home!
Leg 3 of my journey was supposed to be a 6 hour flight from Washington DC to California. I always wonder what my seatmate will be like on airplanes. Will we be friends? Will he/she be old? Will they want to talk to me? Will this swarthy young stranger be my future husband?? (Okay, the last one I really don't wonder too often...but it could happen!)
The guy sat down and I began my estimations. He looked to be about my age or younger, but he was on the shorter side, so I wasn't too sure. This was our conversation:
Him: "Man, this is gonna be a long flight."
Me: "Yeahhh." Pause, because I didn't know what to say. "The worst flight I had was from here to Germany. I thought I'd never get off that plane!"
Him: *awkward pity laugh* "Yep, this is gonna be a long flight."
Me: "Yep."
And that was that. I was convinced that no, we won't be friends, no, he does not want to talk to me, and NO, he is not swarthy and therefore not my future husband. So I used my defense mechanism and promptly fell asleep. Upon waking up, I watched two movies and a TV show about killer robots, and decided to nap again. It was then, with my eyes not yet quite closed, that I saw Seatmate bring down some white knitted gloves from his bag. "Funny," I thought. "I guess his hands are really cold?" I mean, to each his own I suppose.
Then, as I peeked out of my right eye, to my great surprise, the fingertips of his gloves lit up! Blue, read and green lights danced as he moved his fingers in fast patterns. Sometimes he'd go so fast I could feel his seat shaking...then he'd slow down. I was tired, and so I did not feel like dignifying this odd behavior by paying attention to it. I kept "napping". He kept up his light show for a good 45 minutes! At one point, I overheard a flight attendant ask him about it. He said it increased "finger agility".
I was not impressed.
My parents got lost in the airport trying to find me, so I sat and waited for an hour and called a friend. They finally found me, and we began Leg 4 of my journey home. In the middle of our two hour drive home, we stopped at a breakfast diner (it was close to midnight) and I devoured an omelet and hashbrowns.
Then, to my inexplicable relief, after 25 hours of travel, I was home. Home sweet home.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Why Single Is Stinking Awesome
A lot of people out there are in relationships. That’s fantastic. More power to ‘em. They’ve found someone that’s all interested in their every thought and desire and they are now on a journey of trying to learn about how to make the other happy.
Relationships are lovely. With the right person, of course…I could write something else about that.
But we’re not here to talk about “Why Relationships Are Awesome”.
Single is stinking awesome for a couple reasons.
#1: You can see chick flicks any time you want.
As ladies, there is a part of our brains devoted to the love of chick flicks. Whether you are committed to this love and don’t mind your friends knowing, or whether this love is secret and hidden…it’s still there. What other kind of movie would you rather see eating ice cream and Thin Mints? Gladiator? No thanks. Pride and Prejudice is just fine for me.
And while some men can see past the stereotype (and/or acknowledge the stereotype and don’t mind it), those men are not everywhere. Unless he is one of the aforementioned men or you have him really whipped, he will not really want to sit and watch Keira Knightly argue about propriety and Mr. Darcy. This activity you can do alone, or with as many ladies as you deem appropriate.
#2: You don’t have to worry about awkward opposite-sex friendships.
When you have a boyfriend, there are several invisible lines involved in the realm of your friendships with others of the male species. You can be friends with his friends…as long as they don’t hug you. Or if they do hug you, they better not hug for too long and they better not enjoy it. You can keep your preexisting guy friends if they are ardent supporters of the new relationship. But if they seem mopey…eh, it’s better to let them go. You don’t want anything awkward to happen.
Who wants to try to keep all those rules straight?
I like to have friends of both sexes. It’s nice variety. If you’re a lady anything like me, too much estrogen can stress you out and make you want to run away and gut a fish or trim a deer. It’s a scientific fact that there needs to be testosterone to balance things out. I like this balance of testosterone.
And it’s different if that testosterone belongs to just your b-friend who’s with you and your circle of women. The surrounding estrogen cancels out his manliness.
#3: You don’t have to feel bad about making subtle flirtatious eye contact with the cute barista who made you a vanilla latte today.
It’s a nice little confidence boost. Especially when you’ve been through a weekend of blowing your nose, popping pimples, and eating one too many brownies. Sometimes as women, we crumble under society’s expectation of us to always be beautiful. Sometimes, behind closed doors, we pick our noses and fart. We are gross. We blow snotty tissues and we peel at dead skin on our feet.
We’re not always as beautiful as we’d like to be.
We also don’t always feel beautiful.
Now don’t panic, you good-hearted men out there. Usually and hopefully, this feeling is short lived. It is usually just a spell we go through after being on our period or when we have to wear jeans again because we’ve forgotten to shave. Superficial, yes. True? Also yes.
Anyways, back to the confidence boost. So here’s what I do when I’m not feeling beautiful:
A. Put on a really cute outfit.
It’s the superficial act of wearing something cute that makes you feel better about yourself. I can’t explain that one. But it helps.
B. Perfume.
Something about the extra assurance that you smell good also puts pep in your step. This is not in any crazed effort to drive men crazy with how good you smell…this isn’t for men at all. It’s for me. I’m not trying to impress anyone.
C. Go to a coffee shop.
It has been proven that at coffee shops you will find cute baristas. (I tend to think male baristas should be called baristos. They need a gender separation. It sounds way awesome!) Cute guys like coffee. Some cute guys don’t; but personally, I’d rather make twinkling eye contact with a cute stranger who likes coffee rather than one who does not. But that’s just me.
D. Go to said coffee shop in letter C with a group of friends.
I’m going to have a precious moment right here. It’s cliché and it’s corny, but there’s something about being with your friends, laughing and having a good time, that really will make any girl feel beautiful. And not from the superficial stuff…it will make them feel happy and joyful on the inside. Knowing that people love you will shut down any ugly-phase.
Relationships are lovely. With the right person, of course…I could write something else about that.
But we’re not here to talk about “Why Relationships Are Awesome”.
Single is stinking awesome for a couple reasons.
#1: You can see chick flicks any time you want.
As ladies, there is a part of our brains devoted to the love of chick flicks. Whether you are committed to this love and don’t mind your friends knowing, or whether this love is secret and hidden…it’s still there. What other kind of movie would you rather see eating ice cream and Thin Mints? Gladiator? No thanks. Pride and Prejudice is just fine for me.
And while some men can see past the stereotype (and/or acknowledge the stereotype and don’t mind it), those men are not everywhere. Unless he is one of the aforementioned men or you have him really whipped, he will not really want to sit and watch Keira Knightly argue about propriety and Mr. Darcy. This activity you can do alone, or with as many ladies as you deem appropriate.
#2: You don’t have to worry about awkward opposite-sex friendships.
When you have a boyfriend, there are several invisible lines involved in the realm of your friendships with others of the male species. You can be friends with his friends…as long as they don’t hug you. Or if they do hug you, they better not hug for too long and they better not enjoy it. You can keep your preexisting guy friends if they are ardent supporters of the new relationship. But if they seem mopey…eh, it’s better to let them go. You don’t want anything awkward to happen.
Who wants to try to keep all those rules straight?
I like to have friends of both sexes. It’s nice variety. If you’re a lady anything like me, too much estrogen can stress you out and make you want to run away and gut a fish or trim a deer. It’s a scientific fact that there needs to be testosterone to balance things out. I like this balance of testosterone.
And it’s different if that testosterone belongs to just your b-friend who’s with you and your circle of women. The surrounding estrogen cancels out his manliness.
#3: You don’t have to feel bad about making subtle flirtatious eye contact with the cute barista who made you a vanilla latte today.
It’s a nice little confidence boost. Especially when you’ve been through a weekend of blowing your nose, popping pimples, and eating one too many brownies. Sometimes as women, we crumble under society’s expectation of us to always be beautiful. Sometimes, behind closed doors, we pick our noses and fart. We are gross. We blow snotty tissues and we peel at dead skin on our feet.
We’re not always as beautiful as we’d like to be.
We also don’t always feel beautiful.
Now don’t panic, you good-hearted men out there. Usually and hopefully, this feeling is short lived. It is usually just a spell we go through after being on our period or when we have to wear jeans again because we’ve forgotten to shave. Superficial, yes. True? Also yes.
Anyways, back to the confidence boost. So here’s what I do when I’m not feeling beautiful:
A. Put on a really cute outfit.
It’s the superficial act of wearing something cute that makes you feel better about yourself. I can’t explain that one. But it helps.
B. Perfume.
Something about the extra assurance that you smell good also puts pep in your step. This is not in any crazed effort to drive men crazy with how good you smell…this isn’t for men at all. It’s for me. I’m not trying to impress anyone.
C. Go to a coffee shop.
It has been proven that at coffee shops you will find cute baristas. (I tend to think male baristas should be called baristos. They need a gender separation. It sounds way awesome!) Cute guys like coffee. Some cute guys don’t; but personally, I’d rather make twinkling eye contact with a cute stranger who likes coffee rather than one who does not. But that’s just me.
D. Go to said coffee shop in letter C with a group of friends.
I’m going to have a precious moment right here. It’s cliché and it’s corny, but there’s something about being with your friends, laughing and having a good time, that really will make any girl feel beautiful. And not from the superficial stuff…it will make them feel happy and joyful on the inside. Knowing that people love you will shut down any ugly-phase.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Victory and Dairy
You have made a fresh peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You’ve made it with that glorious extra chunky peanut butter you love and the perfect amount of jelly…what better to compliment such a treat than a tall glass of milk?
You reach for the carton and immediately your heart pounds. If you’re like me, you’re ALWAYS the one to find out the milk is bad. Usually it’s you that will pour the glass and taste it only to find its flavor resembles what you think feet would taste like, so you are forced to spew it out of your mouth and cause a big scene.
Since those in your household know of this hidden talent of yours, they ask you to do their dirty work. Namely:
“Hey, can you smell this and see if it’s bad?”
Now I love to help out my friends and family. I find a lot of joy out of making people smile and feel good. But something about asking someone to sniff something that could potentially make them vomit sends a different kind of signal.
Anyway, back to the milk.
So you reach for the carton, excited to pour a nice big glass, but your experience and wisdom tells you to stop. “Smell it,” Wisdom says in your ear. You pop it open, and sniff. You analyze the aroma you’ve just ingested.
Question #1: “Does it smell like fart?”
If the answer is YES, it has gone bad. Even if the date says you have another day, if it smells like fart, it is bad.
If NO, then you’re probably safe. If it seems to smell like nothing, you’re in! Hello delicious treat! You’re mine!
You reach for the carton and immediately your heart pounds. If you’re like me, you’re ALWAYS the one to find out the milk is bad. Usually it’s you that will pour the glass and taste it only to find its flavor resembles what you think feet would taste like, so you are forced to spew it out of your mouth and cause a big scene.
Since those in your household know of this hidden talent of yours, they ask you to do their dirty work. Namely:
“Hey, can you smell this and see if it’s bad?”
Now I love to help out my friends and family. I find a lot of joy out of making people smile and feel good. But something about asking someone to sniff something that could potentially make them vomit sends a different kind of signal.
Anyway, back to the milk.
So you reach for the carton, excited to pour a nice big glass, but your experience and wisdom tells you to stop. “Smell it,” Wisdom says in your ear. You pop it open, and sniff. You analyze the aroma you’ve just ingested.
Question #1: “Does it smell like fart?”
If the answer is YES, it has gone bad. Even if the date says you have another day, if it smells like fart, it is bad.
If NO, then you’re probably safe. If it seems to smell like nothing, you’re in! Hello delicious treat! You’re mine!
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